


Happy Birthday, Charlie!

by Holkie



Series: Mordhaus [10]
Category: Final Fantasy VII, Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen, Janet Strickland (Gear 1195), Lydia Explosion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 17:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holkie/pseuds/Holkie
Summary: This was a birthday gift for the Magic Rat.  She loves both Metalocalypse  and Final Fantasy VII.  She was written crossovers with both shows.  In one of them Dethklok were on Gaia filiming a video with Vincent and there was an accident.  Sephiroth's  blood got on Charles.  Since in her stories, the characters who were SOLDIERS had nanites that let any male get pregnant, well.... Lydia is Nathan's and Charles' daughter. Charles was her mom.  (Yeah, I know, mpreg.  But Rattie actually made me like it!)Animama, a friend of  Rattie and I drew a Chibi Vincent.  Well, Chibi Vincent also looks like Lydia dressed as Vincent.  So it sparked a scene in this.





	Happy Birthday, Charlie!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Chibi](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/286071) by Animama. 



Nathan roamed the stacks of Mordhaus' massive library in frustration. None of the books were helping him. Of course, he didn't have a clue where to start looking for help in planning a party. He normally had Gears for that sort of thing. But this time, he wanted to do it, for the person whose birthday it was going to be. He, hell, Dethklok had missed too many of them. And after all he had done for them, even dying for them and coming back, this time the lead singer wanted to do it right.

Nathan scanned the books on the shelves nearest him. They were all on...nature? Biology? That wasn't going to help at all. He was about to storm out of the library, again, when he noticed where he was, near where that archeologist... ah...old language translator, Janet...Gear one one..something worked. Yeah, Janet, that red head he kept hitting on...no, or he'd get distracted.

He walked down the aisle and, sure enough, there was Janet, bent over her laptop with clay tablets scattered about the table, her hood lay on the table next to the tablets. The singer walked up as quietly as he could and was about to tap her on her shoulder.

"Yes, m'lord Nathan?" Janet asked. "I'm on duty, so what may I help you with in the library?"

"Ah, how did you, ah, know it was me?" he said.

Janet looked up at him with a slight grin. "Your reflection on my laptop screen. You do step pretty quietly for a such a big man. And I won't do that in the stacks."

The singer grinned at her. "Are you sure? You know I'm good."

An odd look passed over Janet's face and was gone. "I'm on duty, m'lord."

"Did I tell you to call me Nathan?" Nathan's look changed back to his confusion. "I, ah, want to ask you something else anyway. You're smart...and do things like... ah, plan a party?"

Janet looked surprised. "Ah, yeah. But don't you have Gears for that sort of thing? Dethklok has thrown a lot of parties, just from since I came here."

"Yeah, but...I wanna do this one myself. See, it's... Charlie's birthday in a few weeks and well.... we sort of missed a lot of them and he has done a lot for us and we should do something since he's done so much for us." Nathan ran out steam and just stood there looking at the woman.

"Oh...okay...anything special you want?"

"I... don't know. I just want it to be a surprise."

"Well, do you have a guest list? Who are his friends we should invite? I know he likes pie over cake, so we could do birthday pie." Janet slowed at the look on Nathan's face. "What?"

"I...don't know if Charlie has friends. He's always working...for us. Well, we could invite … no, no record people. Charlie sees enough of them." Nathan looked pained as he tried to think. "Hey, those people on Gaia! Vincent, Cid, Rufus, Reeve. Seriiph...Sephiroot...Sephi.... oh, that guy he got the nanites from when we shot that video with Vincent with his wings. Them."

"Okay, since you know them, call them and invite them." Janet said. "How about we have a meeting with the rest of the band and plan it out."

"Oh, good! Good! Tonight! My room! Charlie might find us if we used a band meeting room!" Nathan ran off to get the rest of the band to agree to the meeting one way or another.

Janet shook her head, sighed, and went back to work.

Several hours later, she walked the hall leading to Nathan's room. She was wearing her hood so she was just another Gear. Besides, most of the Gears were at dinner, if not Dethklok. The band had such odd hours, dinner for them was hours later than the rest of the house. Charles ate... when he had the time. Sometimes with the higher up legal Gears and/or his current assistant.

She got to Nathan's door and knocked. The door opened quickly, the singer looked out, saw only her, grabbed her by her t-shirt and hauled her into his room without a word. He slammed the door and locked it.

"Did anyone see you?"

"Ah... no. It's quiet out there."

"Good... good." Nathan realized he was still holding her by her shirt and awkwardly released his hold and tried to smooth it out. Until it dawned on him he was brushing her breasts and stopped.

Janet looked around the room as Nathan waved her to the table in the middle of his room as he walked over to it. The rest of the band was there and the table had snacks piled high along with all sort of note books. Like they had been trying to plan this themselves. Or at least get ideas.

"Okay," Janet said as she sat down, "have you come up with anything?"

"A pettin' zoo!" Toki exclaimed. "Wes can has llamas, and goats, and kitties, big kitties! And and all sorts ah animals!"

"Ah, m'lord Toki, I don't think Charles would like that."

"Buts ever'bodies likes cute animals!"

"Well, yes, but not someone like Charles." Janet said as Toki deflated. "I'll see that we get a petting zoo for your next party, how about that?"

The others started piling on their ideas. Most of which Janet shot down.

"No, Murderface, I don't think hookers, cigars and booze are a good idea for Charles.... okay, maybe the cigars and booze."

"No, Pickles, not drugs. Most days anyway."

"No, Nathan, sluts and beer is the same Murderface's idea. Charles is classier than that."

Nathan growled "But cake and booze and just people are boring!"

Janet rubbed her head. "Well, think about Charles. What does he do on a normal day? Is he doing exciting things? Does he run around with sluts, groupies, or whatever?"

"Aaahhh... you're right. He's boring." Nathan grumbled as the rest of the band looked deflated.

"Now, I don't think Charles is boring. He's just not a rocker. At least he doesn't do that stuff normally." Janet thought. "We know he fences, so he likes swords. He likes good brandy and pie. I know he likes art. And when was the last time he took a vacation?"

Nathan thought a minute, the gears visibly turning in his head before a light went on. "That's it! We give him a vacation somewhere! We can all go to make sure he has a good time!"

Janet did the best she could to hide what she thought of that idea as the band looked like that was a wonderful idea. Poor Charles, he need time away from these guys, not more where they were driving him crazy. But she was not about to tell them that.

"And Is can make Charlie's a macaroni murderlady likes I do for Murderface's b'ithday!" Toki crowed! "And dis time Is not eat all de red hots!"

"Well, we can get Jean Pierre to make his favorite pies along with a birthday cake. Okay now who should we invite? Nathan, did you ask those folks from Gaia, was it?"

"Ah, no, not yet. I have Cid's & Vincent's emails and a couple of the other people."

"Could you send the email to them and ask them to pass it on? Because Charles might have all their emails, but we don't want to ask him. It would give the secret away. And remember to tell them it's a secret!" Janet opened her laptop to make some notes.

She looked up to see Toki whispering to Nathan as he typed. They were both grinning. She enough presence of mind to say "Send me a copy of your email and have them contact me. So we can keep it a secret."

"Aaaah...okay." Nathan added her address and hit send.

Janet took a look at the message and did a facepalm. "And bring the kids! We'll have a petting zoo for them!" She sighed. She should know better than to go up against a member of Dethklok when one of them wanted something.

They hashed out where to have the party in Mordhaus- so they could set it up without Charles knowing what was going on. Because there were so many Gears, they could spread the work out, get it done fast, and hide the cost until it was too late for Charles to find out. The last thing she convinced Nathan to do was to take Charles out to an slightly early dinner, just the two of them, so the rest could get the party ready and the guests into the 'haus unseen.

The days went by fast. A couple of times, Charles almost caught someone working on his surprise. But the Gears were use to subterfuge. Janet had to put a stop to a few "suggestions" the band members made about the menu or decorations. She finally gave up and said Jean Pierre had final say in the menu because he knew what Charles liked to eat. And she put an end to any decorations by simply saying it will attract too much attention and Charles would notice. Janet didn't even try to do anything about Skwisgaar and Murderface "auditioning", or trying to, girls for the party. The Gears in security knew enough not to let them in on the day of the party.

The last thing was for Nathan to ask Charles to dinner that night. It took Nathan several tries to finally do it, so close to the date that they all thought Charles would find out about it. The guests from Gaia had already arrived and were stashed away in a far corner of Mordhaus. (The band had sent the Dethcopter to get them by having the Gears say it was down for maintenance.)

Nathan stood outside Charles' office door, snuffling his feet, trying to come up with some way to ask the lawyer. He raised his hand to knock and froze. No, he wouldn't do it that way, Charles would know something was up then. He grabbed the doorknob and barged into Charles' office.

Fortunately Charles was neither in a meeting nor on the phone, for a change. He looked up from his paperwork like he except something was wrong or Nathan was going to make a weird demand.

"Ah, Charles.... you, me, dinner tomorrow night. No excuses." Nathan growled.

Charles looked surprised at that. "Ah... what if I ...ah, had other plans, Nathan?"

"Change'em."

The lawyer looked at Nathan, his mind working fast. Something was up, that he had no doubt about. But what? It was his birthday, but he was certain none of the band knew that, despite how close he and Nathan had become. None of them had so much as said happy birthday in the past. Well, he could have security on alert in case it was the usual Dethklok shenanigans. "Alright, Nathan. Is it formal or causal?"

Nathan looked both relieved and confused. "Ah... fancy, but not too fancy. Sort of.... what you got on is good. It's a nice restaurant."

"Good, thank you for the invitation. Is there anything else?"

"No....later." Nathan turned, left the office, and closed the door. Then slumped back against it. That simple "request" was the hardest thing he had ever done.... at the moment. He sighed and went off to let Janet know that the distraction was arranged.

The next day Charles noticed two things, the Gears were whispering among themselves and would deny anything was up. And the band was unusually quiet and out of sight. Gear 1195, aka Janet, had reported there was nothing to talk to him about that day and disappeared from the library early.

What Janet was up to was helping Nathan choose his suit for the date. Normally, he just wore what was set out for him for events Dethklok attended. But he wanted this to be special and he was nervous. Janet had to make him tone it down; he was trying to be too formal. But she got him to agree to a dark suit, dark shirt and a red tie. Then she was off to attend to the last of the party set up. Besides, she had to help Nathan's and Charles' daughter Lydia with a surprise of her own.

She went off to pick up Lydia, Pickles, and Toki. The two band mates had help Lydia get dressed in her costume from last Halloween. They had been suppose to go to Gaia to visit Cid and Vincent and the rest of the folks there, but their plans had to change. Lydia had picked out her costume just special for them and had been disappointed that she couldn't show it off. So when she heard they were visiting, she insisted on wearing her costume to the party.

The group found that the Gears had gotten the people from Gaia, and the horde of children already in the large conference room they had picked out for the party. Lydia wanted to make an entrance, so Pickles, Toki, and Janet went in first.

"Hey, guys!!!"Pickles called. "Lydia wants ta show off her costume from last Halloween. Seein' as we couldn' make it."

"Ja, she picks it out just for yous." Toki grinned. "Specially Papa Cid an' Vincent!"

"Okay, what the sprout wear?" Cid said, turning toward the door. "Let's see, Lydia!"

Lydia walked into the room and stopped in the middle. The Mordhaus crew grinned ear to ear. The Gaia group gasped, and then the giggles from the women started. The men were grinning as bad as Dethklok and trying not to laugh. Cid lost that battle and rolled with it. Vincent, however was silent.

He walked across the room to Lydia, stopped toe to toe and looked down at.... a miniature version of himself. A little version of Capey Cape, brass toed boots, and Lydia raised her left hand to reveal a miniature version of his claw. He raised his claw, they both tilted their heads to one side then the other. Lydia then flipped her cape to one side to show off a tiny copy of Vincent's gun. Vincent tilted his head one last time and said "Good costume. And anyone else laughes they're walking home."

Janet said "She wanted to be Chaos, but she made up her mind to close to Halloween to do a proper job. So we're working on that costume for next Halloween... complete with movable wings."

'They'll actually fly?" Cid asked, trying to wipe the grin from his face.

"Oh, no, no, no! Charles and Nathan both vetoed that idea."

Vincent held out his hand to Lydia "Come, let us get some cake."

Just as the big doors to the outside open and Toki yelled "Ja! Brings dem in here!" A trumpet call like an elephant's sound through the door.

"Oh, no no No!" Janet yelled and ran to head off the invasion of the petting zoo. "Outside! They go outside!"

Meanwhile, Nathan had met Charles at his office and took him straight down to the garage to get the limo, thereby avoiding the gathering party on the other side of the 'haus. The ride was silent to start with. Nathan fidgeting and Charles waiting to hear why they were going out.

The lawyer gave up and finally asked. "Ah... Nathan, why are we going out tonight?

"erm.... ah, well, it's.... your birthday and all... Thought it was about time I did something for you..." Nathan looked embarrassed.

 

Charles was surprised. "And... nothing else? The others aren't plotting something back at the 'haus?"

"er... not really, nothing bad anyway! I swear it!" Nathan looked uncomfortable.

"Really?"

"I swear! They're not... going to burn down the place. This time. I just wanted to do something nice, like a thank you for everything you do."

Charles raised an eyebrow. And smiled just a little. "Okay, I believe you."

The rest of the ride to the rather upscale restaurant was silent again, but this time it was a comfortable silence. When they got there, they were ushered into a semi-private dinning room, while the celebrities would eat to get some privacy from the general public. But even there, Nathan got attention. First whispering while they ordered. Even though some of the people in the room were rather well known themselves, they still stared and whispered. Finally a daughter of an actor got the courage to ask the Dethklok front man for an autograph. Nathan did give it, with a growl because he didn't want to cause a scene. He wanted this to be a good night for Charles, not one where he had to clean up something "Dethklok" had done.

Their food arrived and they got down to eating. They chatted, well, Nathan at least trying. He was still fuzzy on chit-chat. But he tried. As they ate, there was a growing noise from the front room. Word had gotten around Nathan Explosion was in the restaurant and people were gathering hoping to see him.

When one of the women slipped into the private room with a camera and got off few quick shots, Nathan almost roared and then sighed. He looked so disappointed, Charles had to ask him why.

"I, er," Nathan paused. "I wanted this to be a good night. Where you didn't have to clean up after me.. us. Just a regular night out without the usually bullshit we pull. It seems almost impossible."

"Well... you did try. And that is good enough for me. You... ah, haven't burned down the restaurant or killed anyone." Charles smiled. "And that is good enough for me."

"Well...." Nathan started and stopped.

"Well?"

'"The guys are back at the 'haus setting up a surprise party for you. With Cid, Vincent, Rufus, Reed, Sephiroot, and all them. Toki got you a petting zoo...and..." Nathan sputtered to a stop. "Well, we tried."

Charles chuckled. "Isn't that what I usually say?"

"Yeah. Oh, and Lydia is still up. She wanted to be at the party and show Vincent her Halloween outfit."

Charles' eyebrows went up. "Damn, we missed seeing that reaction."

Nathan thought a moment and laughed. "Yeah, that had to be funny. Oh and don't eat dessert. We've got about a ton of pies back at the 'haus for you."

They finished, Nathan paid, and then put on his fiercest scowl and lead the way through the crowd to the limo.

On the ride back, Nathan told Charles that he had to be surprised as if he hadn't spilled the secret.  
Charles gave him a light kiss. "Oh, no matter what I find there, I will be surprised."

As soon as the limo crossed into the grounds of Mordhaus the Gear at the gate called into the party that the "Boss has returned." They had arranged that a Gear would meet Charles and Nathan and say that there was a problem in the meeting room that Charles had to attend to. Gears stationed along the route reported in as the two men moved through the 'haus to the room.

Charles paused just outside the room. "You know, now that I'm here I'm not sure I'm ready for this."

"I swear if they tore the room down, I'll skin them all." Nathan replied. "Just... trust us. I swear we all tried to behave and Janet helped us. We were... mostly good."

Charles chuckled and opened the door to the dark room. He flicked on the light to "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLIES!"

And Charles was surprised. There was no blood, no trolls, no Rockzo, and he was truly surprised there was no elephant in the room. He had half expect it when Nathan told him about Toki's petting zoo.  
And there were no groupies. Just... people he knew and liked. No record execs. No business people. Even the Gears he liked. All his... family and friends.

There were presents. Toki had made his macaroni murderlady. Murderface got him a Civil War officer's sword. Skwisgaar a painting he wanted. How the Swede found out about that, he had no idea. (Skwisgaar would never tell him about romancing the female lawyer who had been around when Charles first saw the article about the painting.) And there was enough pie for about a month and a half of birthdays.

About the only frazzled person was Janet. Charles did get a moment to talk to her and thank her for helping plan the party.

"Oh, no problem.... well, not much of …. alright, the boys drove me crazy! How do you not drink so much?" The Gear asked.

"Well, I do... just, it's good brandy." Charles chuckled. "And I thought there was a petting zoo."

"Oh, that. Yeah, it was a fight and a half to keep them in yard. Toki wanted them INSIDE! I managed to get him to agree after I pointed out he and you didn't want to walk into elephant or any other animal's poop." Janet sighed and took a deep swig of her hard cider. "Now, if you don't mind, I want to get away while I'm still mostly sober and before Nathan notices I'm drinking. Happy birthday, Charles."

Janet slipped out of the party just as Nathan walked up to Charles. "Where's our little Gear go?"

"Don't harass the help, Nathan. Besides, it's my birthday and I want you to myself."  
"No problem there." Nathan growl into his ear. "Wanna blow this joint?"

"In a bit." Charles said. "I'm... rather enjoying this... lack of chaos."

There was a loud crash somewhere in the room.

"Or did I speak too soon?"

 

 

 


End file.
